Headaches, confusion, exhaustion, focus

I feel a slow drain on a good number of things currently. Friendships feel strained, but my family life feels better. I can do no more pleasing of others, if I myself cannot be pleased first. Friends mimic and puppet things they were told, were we destined to lose independent thought so fast?

Is the change coming about going to separate the philosophical from the non, the weak from the strong, the plain from the special even more than it already has? Earthquakes have been predicted, tribes falling to the wayside, 30 years of war, but what if all of these are simply psychosomatic resonances of a bigger, less noticeable movement?

High Energies

As I wander through somewhat aimlessly in an existence riddled with multiple possibilities around every corner, I can't help but wonder where I'd be if I hadn't been decisive. I can feel the subtle reminders of being grounded and the role psychological gravity plays.

I believe somewhere in there is also the capability to be normal but know one is very far from that capacity at the same time. There are other things I find absolutely ludicrous, but only where I am concerned.

The cat woke me again, her yelling this time was worse than the last time. I saw nothing, heard nothing, sensed nothing. Still, the insistent bite on my hand was enough to make me somewhat wary of the situation. I assume I will have to locate a tool for sensing. As I walked back to my bed, dismissing her claims, I felt her little but sharp teeth dig into me, attempting to pull me by my calf muscle.

Sometimes, my little calico familiar is too dramatic.

My friend, the Herkimer

As every new journey begins, we must look to the needs of our minds and instincts. Opening insight is critical if we are to know where next to sojourn.

A beautiful, vibrant device, its colors of Arctic ice, peach, and soft infusions of red. A device that is me, a part of me, something of me, tangible for me to see. Our beings met, the contact resonating instantly within my core as it accepted the tiny bits of me it did not yet contain. Its response to my touch was a calming, joyful moment, somewhat euphoric in nature. Where I felt out of balance mentally, it stood me upright, telling me things would now be normal.

Herkimer has opened for me a higher level of what I am to become in time. It it highly conductive, and seemingly contains properties that aide in the pain the Fibromyalgia tends to give. Refraction and flaw lend to the effectiveness of it, as well at its beauty. I don't feel as angry or confused as I did just a few weeks ago.

So I was told...

I was recently informed that for the "self discovery" journey I am about to set off on, I should start writing everything down. I am bad at this because things tend to happen to me when I am nowhere near a computer.I guess I will have to place this as an app on my phone so I am able to be a little more spontaneous with my thoughts.

Where do I start. That is a hard decision as since last year, things which used to not come to be have since came into being. This is more than just a journey into one's self, with no conductor, no caboose, and no engine with which to push the traveler down a hazy, mysterious road. In this trip, a bit of clarity has been given, along with the opportunity to be more than I once was, to have more than I once had, and to become that which is eluded by practical thought.

Precise vision needs to be dulled, passion needs to be muted. Desiring the instant gratification of self-indulgence and demanding instant results are things of the past.